Okay, so here is how the first chapter looks now. Please feel free to leave comments:
Herodotus the Laconic Vrykolakas
The Prelude
Approximately 500 years before a certain individual of fame was crucified, there was a great society in what we today call Greece. This ancient greek society was compromised of various city-states with a loose order of alliances and treaties. The various tribes would sporadically find themselves amidst civil wars and such social strife of dealing with odd politics and upheavels with their slaves and neighbors. This was Lacedaemonia, and today the history books refer to it as Sparta. In this city-state would rise a great warrior, and he was born as Heros. This is the tale of how he became Herodotus, a warrior without death. This Herodotus is not to be confused with the Herodotus of historical significance, however he did once meet that man. Our Heros was nothing in greater significance than his fellow Spartans, not until the day he went to his first battle in Thermopylae.
On a cold and crisp autumn night, Heros was welcomed to the world. That night, his mother felt the worst incredible pains as they rocked thru her body. She convulsed and cried tearless screams, as memories of the last year flashed and she thought of the night she almost died trying to give birth. Her body was wracked with pain and sorrow that night a year ago, as the Gerousia, the village elders, came in and looked at the wine soaked baby in her husband’s arms. The baby didn’t cry, a bad sign, along with how weak and sickly it looked. The elders had deemed him unworthy to born a Spartan and ordered he be placed in the Kaiada to face the elements. The Kaiada was where the Spartans placed the unworthy babies to die. He would be dead by the morning and would never know what his life could have had to offer. Tonight she was afraid the the same may happen again. She had never had a fear of her own death, nothing would be more honorable than to face the death attempting to deliver a child to become a Spartan soldier for the state, but she could not bear the shame of another weak youth unable to bear a shield. The shame that would be more physically weakening than the overwhelming pain that now coursed thru her well buil frame. Most soldiers in her village had never beard as much pain, even in the most heated of battles, as she was now suffering thru.
This ordeal lasted for hours as she tried in vain to stiffle as much of her want to just tear open her belly with her hands. Finally she stopped, her eyes were clinced for just a moment and then gravity took over as she fell back. Her complete body went limp and then a war cry was heard, from the baby. The baby sounded strong, he sounded proud. The midwife was holding him and they began to separate the cord that had bonded him to his mother. The baby, covered in blood and other birthing agents, took this first cut in stride. The mother regained her strength at the sight of him and sat up. She reaced for the child, full aware that this child would one day bear a round hoplite shield, the Hoplon, with pride and honor. She stood and took him to a table where a bowl rested and cleaned the newborn with fresh red wine. The blood red of the wine stained his body as it cleaned the other fragments left over from his birth.
The husband entered the room with a blood red cloth and wrapped the wine soaked baby within it. He then proceed to exit the room and take the baby from his mother, as helots came in and helped her to clean off her body from the ordeal. He carefully took the baby to the Gerousia for approval. He didn’t want this babe to join his long dead brother in the Kaiada, but knew if the state did not approve of his strength it was the only option to be had. He also was fearful that the personal feelings that one of the Gerousia had for him may be the reason this child was left to die and not the merits of the child. He hoped that this time the elder would place the state over his personal pride. For the past year the husband had tried to make up for the past misgiving with the elder and he really hoped it might have helped pave the way for a positive action tonight.
The elders all circled around the husband and the youth, then the baby was passed around. Each of the Gerousia had their opportunity to hold the spartan babe. They each examined him and prodded him. Then the elder, who for so many years had been a major thorn in the husband’s side, had his turn. He held the babe as if he had already made his decision. The idea of making the man suffer another lost opportunity of a child began to create a smile in the bitter old man’s face. Then the man noticed something in the child. He then really began to examine the youth. He knew. He realized this child had to be born. In his newborn face, the old man saw a future. He saw that this child would be one to bring victory for the Spartans and he decided to lay aside the personal feeling he held for the well being of the state. Tonight a new soldier for the Spartan state would be accepted into their ranks.
